Since the election is over, the T-Day conversation at our house shifted to “cow tipping”.
So, let’s dip into the HomaFiles archive for the definitive explanation … with a twist.
A news story caught my eye yesterday.
But, first some context …
Have you ever heard of “cow tipping?
It’s a ritual where drunk farm boys sneak up on cows and tip them over.
Technical note: I have no idea why they have to be drunk, but it’s always stated that way.
Last year , Modern Farmer magazine published a scientific study on cow tipping.
Basically, Modern Farmer debunked the rural legend:
Cow tipping, at least as popularly imagined, does not exist.
Drunk young men do not, on any regular basis, sneak into cow pastures and put a hard shoulder into a cow taking a standing snooze, thus tipping the poor animal over.
While in the history of the world there have surely been a few unlucky cows shoved to their side by gang of boozed-up morons, we feel confident in saying this happens at a rate roughly equivalent to the Chicago Cubs winning the World Series.
The evidence against cow tipping is immense, and backed up by both farmers and the laws of physics
Ignore the cheap shot at my favorite Cubbies … focus on the “boozed up morons” and the “laws of physics”.
The Modern Farmer study was provocative enough that it was picked up by Slate.com with the following headline:
Uh-oh, this is where things get really interesting …
If you’re a drunken moron and you the laws of physics won’t allow you to tip cows, what do you do?
Well, perhaps prompted by the Slate headline, drunken morons have found a new target.
NBC New reports that there’s an epidemic in San Francisco … Vandals are flipping over Smart cars
Why does this not surprise me?
C’mon, admit it … you’ve probably wanted to brush by a Smart car to see if it would tip over.
More seriously, the vandals may providing a community service …. saving lives.
I’ve always wondered how one of the clown cars would fare in a crash.
I’d bet on the other car (or the squirrel). That’s for sure.
Any way, cows can finally sleep with both eyes closed again.
P.S. Did you notice the reference to the Cubs winning the World Series?
Maybe there’s more cow tipping going on than was previously reported.