Maybe, the best college essay ever written …

Too bad it was written after-the-fact.  After the rejections.

The WSJ published an op-ed by a HS senior: To (All) the Colleges That Rejected Me

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It’s worth reading … says the things that most of us are probably thinking.

Here are some highlights:

Colleges tell you, “Just be yourself.”

That is great advice, as long as yourself has nine extracurriculars, six leadership positions, three varsity sports, killer SAT scores and two moms.

If you work at a local pizza shop and are the slowest person on the cross-country team, consider taking your business elsewhere.

What could I have done differently over the past years?

If it were up to me, I would’ve been any of the diversities: Navajo, Pacific Islander, anything. Sen. Elizabeth Warren, I salute you and your 1/32 Cherokee heritage.

I would have started a fake charity. Providing veterinary services for homeless people’s pets. Raising awareness for Chapped-Lips. Fun-runs, dance-a-thons, bake sales—as long as you’re using someone else’s misfortunes to try to propel yourself into the Ivy League, you’re golden.

Having a tiger mom helps, too. Nobody made me sit down at a piano, or pluck a violin. Karate lasted about a week and the swim team didn’t last past the first lap.

I should’ve gone to Africa, scoop up some suffering child, take a few pictures, and write my essays about how spending that afternoon with Kinto changed my life.

Or at least hop to an internship. I could have been a gopher in the office of someone I was related to … with a precocious-sounding title to put on my resume. “Assistant Director of Mail Services.”

To those kids who by age 14 got their doctorate, cured a disease, or discovered a guilt-free brownie recipe:

You make us mere mortals look bad.

My take: Be in the top-end – or at least create a faux-achiever facade so you look like you are — or be in the bottom-end to catch some guilt-ridden sympathy … but, don’t be in the middle –- don’t be a largely self-driven survivor — or you’re toast.

P.S. I’d hire this kid in a heartbeat.

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