I wasn’t that into the Olympics until the U.S. Men’s speed skaters started blaming their poor performance on new space-age uniforms supplied by Under Armour.
Here’s my take on the situation:
First, it got me wondering what kind of design flaw could seriously impair performance?
Only thing I could come up with that the the crotch is cut too high. Ouch. Otherwise, there would be more specifics revealed about the design gotcha.
More important, what moron — or team of morons — or moronic coach of a team of morons — decides to try a revolutionary new piece of equipment for the first time in the biggest competition of their lives.
C’mon man. You use the bat that you’ve been swinging all season, right?
I had to chuckle when the team performed worse when they changed back to there old speed-suits.
Maybe it’s not the uniforms but what’s in the uniforms.
With the new uniforms vindicated, the team started whining that they trained at high altitude and the low altitude ice in Sochi is mushier than they’re used to.
C’mon man, again.
The Olympics venue has been known for what, a decade or more?
You train for night games by practicing under the lights, not on the surface of the sun.
Bottom line: I’m reminded of my high school football coach who regularly reminded us that excuses are for losers.
That said, next time I have a bad day, I’ll just chalk it up to the cut of my Jos. A. Bank’s trousers.
Might work …