Dopes: A-Rod on juice; Ray Lewis on deer spray … say, what?

OK, let’s start with the garden variety doping allegation.

Several news sources reported that Alex Rodriguez of the Yankees was “ensnared in a doping investigation once again when an alternative weekly newspaper reported baseball’s highest-paid star was among a half-dozen players listed in records of a Florida clinic the paper said sold performance-enhancing drugs.”

Technical question: What the heck is an “alternative weekly newspaper”?  What is it an alternative to?

The Miami New Times said the three-time AL MVP bought human growth hormone and other performance-enhancing substances during 2009-12 from Biogenesis of America LLC, a now-closed anti-aging clinic in Coral Cables near Rodriguez’s offseason home.

Another technical question: What the heck is an “anti-aging” clinic?  Glad to see it closed.

The New York Yankees third baseman issued a statement denying the allegations.

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Now let’s move to the jaw-dropper: Raven’s LB Ray Lewis Accused of Using Performance Enhancing Deer Spray.

At first I thought the headline said “hair spray”.

That would be ridiculous since Lewis always wears a helmet or a do-cap.

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My bad.

They’re talking deer antler spray … which everyone knows contains “a banned performance-enhancer connected to human growth hormone”.  Right?

Sports Illustrated reported that Lewis sought help from a company that makes the unorthodox product to speed up his recovery from a torn right triceps.

“Unorthodox product” ???

That’s an understatement.

First, what the heck is deer antler spray … and, second,  what would possess anybody to spray it on themselves?

Why not, say, cat urine or garlic juice … which aren’t banned by the NFL.

Man, you can’t make this stuff up.

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Search Engine Marketing

P.S. Here’s what you get when you Google “Ray Lewis Deer Spray” … an ad for DeerOut.com.

Hmmm.

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2 Responses to “Dopes: A-Rod on juice; Ray Lewis on deer spray … say, what?”

  1. Christina Caldwell Says:

    Funny stuff! The “alternative weekly” Miami New Times is “alternative” to the Miami Herald, the way DC City Paper is an alternative to the Washington Post, providing enhanced muckraking of local politics, restaurant reviews, comics and classifieds. Maybe they should run an expose on deer antler spray next.

  2. John Carpenter Says:

    OK. This get’s my vote for the weirdest Homa blog entry yet.

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