OK, let’s start with the garden variety doping allegation.
Several news sources reported that Alex Rodriguez of the Yankees was “ensnared in a doping investigation once again when an alternative weekly newspaper reported baseball’s highest-paid star was among a half-dozen players listed in records of a Florida clinic the paper said sold performance-enhancing drugs.”
Technical question: What the heck is an “alternative weekly newspaper”? What is it an alternative to?
The Miami New Times said the three-time AL MVP bought human growth hormone and other performance-enhancing substances during 2009-12 from Biogenesis of America LLC, a now-closed anti-aging clinic in Coral Cables near Rodriguez’s offseason home.
Another technical question: What the heck is an “anti-aging” clinic? Glad to see it closed.
The New York Yankees third baseman issued a statement denying the allegations.
Now let’s move to the jaw-dropper: Raven’s LB Ray Lewis Accused of Using Performance Enhancing Deer Spray.
At first I thought the headline said “hair spray”.
That would be ridiculous since Lewis always wears a helmet or a do-cap.
They’re talking deer antler spray … which everyone knows contains “a banned performance-enhancer connected to human growth hormone”. Right?
Sports Illustrated reported that Lewis sought help from a company that makes the unorthodox product to speed up his recovery from a torn right triceps.
“Unorthodox product” ???
That’s an understatement.
First, what the heck is deer antler spray … and, second, what would possess anybody to spray it on themselves?
Why not, say, cat urine or garlic juice … which aren’t banned by the NFL.
Man, you can’t make this stuff up.
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Search Engine Marketing
P.S. Here’s what you get when you Google “Ray Lewis Deer Spray” … an ad for DeerOut.com.